Power to the Peaceful

Two words that don't seem to blend well together are Power and Peaceful. In business and leadership we don't often see those two in harmony or stride. In fact, one tends to dominate the other, any guesses which one?

But in the world of ease and self care, we do hear a lot about the power of peace. There are festivals that celebrate living in the power of peaceful. There are books and retreats and a host of other indulgences to support finding balance. So what happened in business to create such an adversarial element between the two essential life qualities?

Why do we have to choose one over the other in leadership? What has created this adversarial positioning in politics and business? How can we make achieving power and peaceful a 'both and' versus a 'one over the other?'

In my tips booklet 52 Exquisite Self-Care Tips for the Professional Woman, tip number 21 is one of my favorite and I think it blends power and peaceful nicely. Tip # 21: Give Yourself a Time Out! With a cup of tea in hand, find your favorite place to cop a squat and be intentional about breathing in and letting go. Do this just 5 minutes a day.

When we take time each day to breathe in what is good and exhale the strain of what is pressing us down, we find balance within to walk in full strength. Ultimately submitting up under power and giving in to our inner peace. This is true in our business world too. Taking in the fullness of peace and letting go of need for control, or anxiety, balances us out. Ultimately giving power to the peaceful in our world.

Coaching Question: How might you be curious with Power and Peace in your world?

Cross Polinating for Success- Bees Do it, How About You?

Have you found it is easier to promote other business people's services over your own? Do you find that you bumble for the words to explain fluidly what you do when you can talk for hours about the success rate of your colleagues? How do you feel about selling your services to potential clients?

Well if you answered yes to either of those questions, relax, you are not alone. Recently I watched as I talked to Coaches, Consultants, Professionals and Entrepreneurs and asked questions about how they promote their business - 4 out of every 5 people were stumbling for words. They were self conscious and nervous about "doing it right."

When asked to give a win or celebration for what they were up to in business, most couldn't find an answer. And, when asked how they felt about selling their services, nearly 100% said they didn't enjoy it - "it was the necessary evil part of doing business."

On the reverse, when the same group was asked about a colleague's services, hands down each person could celebrate and acknowledge and sell the services of their colleague with grace and ease. Astonishingly when asked the inevitable "why" the answers were just as clear. "It's easy to talk about what 'they' do, it's not me talking about me." Are you in the same boat? Can you talk about others successes better than your own?

So what to do. Well, I have come up with a solution to get beyond the centuries old challenge of selling our goods and services with confidence while earning a sustainable income. Easy, just Surround Yourself with others who can sell you and you can sell them! It's called cross pollinating and it's really simple and a lot of fun.

The strategy is simple and sweet like honey.

Imagine the power in having a group of colleagues who are evangelists for you and your business out promoting and selling on your behalf! Imagine if you had 10 evangelists and each enrolled one client contact and that 10 turned into new clients. Imagine what you could do as an evangelist for another person's business? What might that contribution look like for their business? The cycle goes on and on. They share about you, you share about them and what we have are success stories all around us.

Remember, we have the power within us to grow and prosper other people's business and they have that same power working on your side! Take the time today to identify your team of evangelists and start spreading the good news and allowing them to do the same for you.

3 simple steps to Master the Mindset

Mastering our mindset is perhaps on of the greatest success strategies I know in working with executives and business leaders. It is also one of the most challenging things to do. Why is that?

Well, working with clients at all levels of management and business success I have noticed a parallel. It is the same parallel that our mastermind group members experience and even my friends.

Our mindset motivates and activates us toward success or failure.

The very thing that gets in the way for so many people is the thing that often is ignored or put on the shelf for later. Mindset. It is also (I believe) one of the most powerful tools we posses. When we take off the blinders, lift up the headphones and move away from the screen, we begin to engage in a new way. It is at that moment a person really begins to channel the power of their mindset into defining their success. It requires commitment to the process and a bold willingness to try on something and even uncomfortable to move toward mastery.

So, how do we engage with our mindset for our advantage? Here are 3 simple steps to get you moving in that direction.

Step 1: Get the Picture. When we have a clear picture of what we want, where we are moving toward or the end result of our goal, we have a greater chance of achieving it. Identifying that image and getting a tangible reminder to go with it helps to keep it very present and top of mind. The awareness the picture creates supports the action.

Step 2: Affirmation - Affirm where you are going, not where you have been. Once you have identified your vision, gotten the picture and created that tangible piece to hold onto, use your words to affirm the outcome. Focusing on where you are moving to and what it will feel like to be there will draw you closer to your success. Speak your affirmation as if you have already received it, that is the key to successful affirmations.

Step 3: Dispute Negative Nellie - You may live with these people or work with them on a daily basis. You may have a committee in your own head at any given time. We know that we become most like those we spend the most time with, so if you are hanging with negativity, it's no wonder your mindset is set toward the opposite of what you want to achieve! Try this instead. When the negative word or even thought comes up around your situation or goal, take back the power and shout it down! Then follow it up with your affirmation. Remember, words are powerful, use them wisely.

It is important to take the temperature how you view your world and the fears or successes that drive you. When you do, you will get a clear picture of what might be getting in your way to success. That very picture in turn can be used to shout down the negativity and fear. By stomping it out and speaking what you want instead, you will begin to move closer to what you want.

For more on the Power of Mindset, you can email me to receive your free copy of the audio file on the subject.

Part 2 - 4 steps to Avoid Communication Breakdown

How are you doing today with your Communication Strategy? What progress have you made with the two tips provided to support you in avoiding a communication breakdown?

Yesterday we covered some good points on things that get us into communication breakdown. We also addressed 2 of the 4 strategies to help in avoiding a breakdown all together. So today, not only will we finish the conversation around the 4 tips, we will dig deeper on ways that two-sided communication works best.

Much has been written about how people communicate. There are books, courses, online seminars and teleseminars on the subject for personal and business communication. So, with all the information available to help us, why do so many people struggle and complain that communication is the #1 issue at work and home?

A bottom-line answer might be - People Don't Listen.

In our effort to be more clear, to have more engaging conversations, many people have stopped listening to each other. They are busy spewing words of discontent, frustration or blame all the time ignoring what the other person on the end is saying. Both people throw their hands up and walk away feeling broke, busted and disgusted with the encounter.

The next time, try engaging in a listening exercise. Start with saying 'Here is what I heard you say,' and wait to see if you are on point or missed the mark. Remove the emotion from the equation and just allow the words to tell the story. You will be surprised at what the words tell you.

Try applying these next 2 steps (3 and 4) in the communication process. They will not only help you in saying what you need, but support you in hearing what needs to be heard.

3) Ask for what you Want - We have all heard the expression Assume nothing, it only makes an A_ _ out of U and Me. Well, with communication that is typically spot on. When we make assumptions that the other person understands, knows what we need or gets what we are saying, 9 times out of 10 we get in trouble. That is because we are leaving a lot to chance or often filling in the blanks instead of stating what we want or need. In your next communication challenge, try stating clearly your intention, right upfront. Bottom-line your need and be open to listening to the other person. If you don't ask for what you want/need, no one else will either.

4) Be willing to say 'I am Sorry' - Perhaps the most powerful word in the dictionary (in my opinion) 'Sorry.' And perhaps the most misused word in the world, sorry. That powerful word can be used to build up and to tear down if not used carefully. It is amazing that so many people don't know how to use it or use it with care. It is not a word to hold us in a victim mode, nor is it to be used freely in every other sentence. It is a word that when reserved for those moments in time when we truly have missed the mark, erred in judgment or mistreated another person. It also has the power to heal and restore quicker than anything else. If only people really knew how to use it and use it well our teams, families and world would be a better place.

With communication it is quite simple, always remain open to the possibility that you may have made a mistake and be willing to say so. Then ask for what you want, use your I words that support your refined motive as you listen with a heart to know more.

And remember, communication is a two-way street. There is the sender and receiver and they have shared responsibility and access to the collective success.

Coaching Question: What one step will you begin to apply today to support your communication success tomorrow?

4 Steps to Avoid a Communication Breakdown-Part 1

We have all been there. In the middle of what we believe to be a good conversation, expressing our side, giving our input and right before our eyes something explodes. It leaves us wondering, 'how did this happen?'

The scenario is not uncommon. It happens in our relationships, it happens in our offices, with our friends and family. It happens on the phone, it happens at the grocery store and even driving our car. Whether we are communicating verbally or in writing, a communication breakdown can happen at any moment.

In a work setting, many people just think that by ignoring the breakdown, the problem will miraculously go away. Others feel hopeless that no matter what they try, nothing will work and they are left to feeling defeated with no control. Some may take on the challenge of addressing the breakdown upfront only to retreat to their corner when met with opposition.

In a family or personal relationship, often times our communication strategy is to simply get what we want with least impact as possible. But what happens overtime is that we stop talking all together because the path of least resistance only creates avoidant behaviors.

While communication is an art form in and of itself, it is not as difficult as some believe it to be. The key to good and clear communication is to always be willing to speak on the side of truth. Often times the age old adage that Less is More rings true with how we communicate. Our emotions can drive the tone and flavor of the simplest of messages leading to total upheaval in our work and family.

To assist you in developing a new strategy that supports good communication, we have outlined 4 easy to implement steps that you can start using today. Today we will detail the first two of the steps to support you in transforming the way you communicate.

1) Identify your Motive - Just as you do when you get in your car to drive, you have a motive and a plan of where you are going, and how you want to get there. The motive is key to the success of your trip, it impacts the choices you make and the outcome of the effort. Communicating is no different. You have a motive, whether clearly identified or not, and you will have an outcome. The success of the trip is also impacted by the choices you make. Good and bad, right and wrong. The key is understanding your motive in such a way that the plan or course you choose toward your outcome is the most efficient and effective. While you can't always avoid the speed bumps or pot holes, you can make course corrections and adjust your speed to ensure a safe arrival.

2) Speak from a Place of I not U - With your motive clear, and your plan mapped out, it is always best practice to speak from that place of I - not YOU. That means we choose our words, just as we do our course of action, carefully. We focus on explaining what 'I understand,' or 'I need,' or why 'I am confused.' The party on the other end of the communication will most always receive what you are saying more openly when you aren't pointing a finger at them. When we use words that focus on fault finding and blame, asserting that 'you did this' or 'you don't understand,' we put people on the defensive. Recovering from a defensive stand is one of the most difficult communication barriers to overcome. By keeping the focus on what you need, want, understand and desire - the you is on you, not them.

Tomorrow we will cover the final 2 of the 4 steps to avoiding communication breakdown. With these simple to implement steps in your toolkit for success, you will most assuredly see marked improvements in your relationships at work and home.

Coaching Q's: What is your communication strategy? On a scale of 1-10, how successful do you feel with your communication skills? What (if anything) do you want to change about that?

The 4 reasons that got me to Yes!

Today a message caught my attention on Facebook that I couldn't walk away from. It was a simple call to action, the very type that I use with clients all the time. A clear invitation that when put to action will produce extraordinary results.

So, what was the invitation? "New Post: 30 day Blogging Challenge - Are you in?" That was it. One bottom-line question for a bottom-line girl. I clicked on the link provided by the author Sandra Martini and read with excitement. Before I got to the end of the post, I knew my answer was a clear YES. It was just the thing I wanted for inspiration and motivation for change.

So this, the first post of 30 in 30, is simple and to the point. And in the momentum the invitation has created, it leaves me wondering one thing. When something moves you to action, how quickly do you actually take action?

Today my quick, inspired action was because of 4 little things.

1) Three words - One big question: "Are You In" caught my eye and caused me to click on the link provided to find out more. That simple question made me want to say yes, even before I read the entire invitation.

2) A Blogging Challenge has always been something I wanted to do and trying to blog for 30 days in a row sound like a fun place to start.

3) Reminiscent Inspiration from my favorite movie of the year, Julie & Julia. I left that theatre with tears glistening on my cheeks at the realization of a dream dismissed. My heart is to shift perspective and challenge assumptions while inspiring bold conversation - the best way to do that in the age of technology, be a voracious blogger. Time to pick up the dream and play.

4) Right Place, Right Time. "30 Day Blogging Challenges are a great way to get in the habit of doing one ordinary thing each and every day which moves your business forward." This was the sentence from Sandra's blog that had the greatest impact on getting to my YES. I am always seeking ways to 'move forward' in life and business, here is my newest opportunity.

I invite you to join me on this journey for 30 days. What will it take to get you to YES?