Tammy shares tools that empower you to design your own fresh perspective, an action plan for today that will change your tomorrow.  "It's all in how you look at it."

Tough Questions...Clear Answers

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Got Job Satisfaction? Some questions from the Coach may help you know.


Today I heard from three friends whom I have not heard from in a very long time. One, is a franchisee of a struggling company I used to coach for, and the two others are employees of an Organization I left for coaching, who live in different parts of the state.

Interestingly, they each had very similar things to say about the current status of affairs. They are feeling drained, broke, busted and disgusted with the current events in their jobs.

What I found to be intriguing, was two fold, 1) I heard from all three on the same day, and 2) their stories, while brief, are very much the same. Even though the come from very different job environments, two work for the 'man' and the other works for 'self,' and they are all wanting to seek something else. The stories were parallel on all levels. Without respect of gender.

Now at first glance it might seem like the 'grass is always greener' scenario, but not this time. Each individual is feeling devalued, mistreated, manipulated and simply disrespected for the effort and work they put in. Something unfortunately, not uncommon amongst our employees/teams when leaders and organizations lack good communication.

My three conversations today got me thinking. First, it was confirmation that I am coach! I love being a resource for people. Second, I know these three people are not alone, the only thing they have in common is that they know me. That's it. And then last, how do we allow ourselves to get to this point of feeling like it's the point of no return?

To answer that is actually quite simple. We need to have a flag pole in our life that we use to run our dreams, goals and happiness meter up against. It is beneficial for our well-being when we can identify the flags or potholes that may derail us and impact our job and life satisfaction.

Do you know and clearly see the warning signs for unhappiness? More importantly, do you know what to do to change in order to get to satisfaction? Consider this.

On a scale of 1-10 are you satisfied with your job? If you ranked that on the low side of below 4, you may want to consider getting some support around the conversation of what will it take to be an 8 or even a 10. Mastermind groups are a great way to help get clarity and build a trusted board of adviser's around you for support and breakthrough.

If you scored 5-7 on the scale, ask what will it take to make it a 9 or 10? You are on that teeter-totter of life at that middle of the ground marker. It could go either way and depending on what your goal is, will depend on where to focus your energy. You might consider getting clarity around vision and purpose, when you know that you know that you know what you were created for, every choice you make wants to align with that hope in knowing. You won't settle for middle ground.

Now if you are in the smaller percentage and scored an 8 or higher - Way To Go! My encouragement for you is to consider what will keep you stimulated? What's next for you? Challenge yourself to figure out what would hit the home run for you in your career right now.

Coming next week-just for women! 52 Exquisite Self-Care Tips Booklet for the Professional Woman. Buy it today!

Monday, September 28, 2009

7 Lessons Learned from a Chick Flick


Spending the day reading, surfing and watching movies proved to be a little frustrating, and enlightening, with a good deal of laughter.

Most women love their chick-flicks, we get lost in the romance and the drama, they allow for our minds to wander for a few hours. What we don't usually talk about though are the lessons to be learned from those very movies.

While many aren't much better than a weekday Soap, when we look we can find some nuggets to last a lifetime, grow a business, and improve relationships. There are always great shopping Do's and Don't too!! I have gathered my "lesson's learned list" just to prove my point.

7 Lessons Learned from Chic Flicks can even be applied to business relationships.

Don't take yourself too seriously. You will notice there is always the woman who takes herself far too seriously. Like the sister in Jerry McGuire, she was so wounded and hurt that she couldn't allow anyone else to enjoy a moment of bliss. I mean, who wouldn't want to go on a date with Tom Cruise right? It wasn't until the sister had been proven wrong that she could accept "she" might be bitter and that "might" be getting in her way. In business when we take ourselves too seriously, chaos and resentment can manifest in various ways. It is important to have someone around you that keeps you firmly grounded in vision and purpose, as well as someone who will name the pink elephant in the corner of your world.

Crying is actually good for the soul. There are too many movies to reference where tears are a plenty. But the ones that really stick out are the ones that use the tears as a refreshing cleanse. Sleepless in Seattle is a good one for that. Remember when Annie and Becky were sitting on the couch watching An Affair to Remember and they just started crying over the ending of the movie? The same movie they had watched a bazillion times! Then what did they do, they brushed it off, felt better for it and that was that. At times we just need to allow the tears to give us that refreshing cleanse, for clarity and for rejuvenation.

Laughter is always required. Think Steel Magnolia's for a moment. That scene at the cemetery when Charisse made fun of Ouiser and told M'Lynn to 'hit her' just to feel better? It is a perfect example that even in our most painful moments, an infusion of a good laugh can set us right side up. We can get far to down and frustrated in our business with all the changes that are coming at us, it is important to keep people near you that make you laugh. It can set you on the right side.

When it feels like you are pushing a boulder, stop pushing. There are times in life and business when we try to push forward on a project or relationship and it feels like we are pushing a boulder. We press forward to make things happen in our life and yet we can't quite cover enough ground. Just like Frances in Under the Tuscan Sun, she left her life in the states to pursue something else in Italy only to find that her pushing and pressing was pushing back, or following her, depending on your perspective. It wasn't until she stopped pushing that she found what mattered most. In business and life when we push and push to get to what we think we want, sometimes the greatest reward comes in simply stopping, and allowing what will be, to be.

It takes truth, integrity and authenticity to move ahead. Sometimes in business we can start to feel that everyone around us is moving steadily ahead of the curve. That our connections, intentions, strategy and marketing are just always lagging behind the others. But there are always three key ingredients to moving ahead in the world and we learned them from Johnny Castle in Dirty Dancing. Johnny was authentic with all people, what you see is what you get, he always operated with integrity, even when people were making assumptions and he told the truth, even when it was easy not to. What he ended up with was his self respect fully intact. The one thing no one can take away from you unless you give it to them. Who have you given sanction to in your life and as a result, lost what's important to you?

Running away solves nothing (but always have an exit strategy). Have you ever felt that you just wanted to bolt from a room? When have you been left standing holding the bag only to find out that it was filled with really stinky stuff? Hurts right? In the movie The Wedding Date we watch as Kat runs from a betrayal of her past only to ultimately run head on into the root of the betrayal. Interestingly, in that moment of deepest pain, she finds her strength and personal power. Kat moves from victim, into woman with grace and confidence as she gets clear that all the running was not taking her anywhere. Running wasn't the answer, and it never is. While it is beneficial to have an exit strategy, you never can run very far without running into that which most haunts you. In business if we have a strategy of running when the going gets tough, we are resigning to failure. Face your fears and hurts head on, you will be better for it on the other side.

People always catch a fibber. There really is nothing worse than a tangled web of lies and untruths. I believe people have a root-level desire to trust others. And when people who tell even little white lies breach the trust factor of relationships, it makes it hard to want to do any kind of business or relationship. Unfortunately, just like in the movie Catch and Release we can find ourselves in the midst of someone elses lie, a story for the benefit of someone else. But the truth always come out and can have devastating affects on those we love. While we can talk ourselves into believing that the little untruth is justified, it is key to remember for business and life in general, even little white lies can have a catastrophic outcome. And, the fiber always gets caught in the end. How do you want to be remembered?

The next time you watch a great tear jerker, or sentimental chick flick, consider the lessons you can take away to better yourself, grow your business and share a good laugh with a friend.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

3 of 3 Mistakes Managers Make - Lack of Communication


Third common mistake (or pitfall) managers make: lack of communication and acknowledgment.

People don't need to be praised all the time to do good work, but they do need to know that they are appreciated for the work they are doing. That comes in the form of good communication at all levels and setting precedence for acknowledgment for the small and big stuff. As the old saying goes - Words are powerful, use them wisely. They can build up a team and tear down a team, all in the same breath.

This is perhaps the most common mistake I have seen as an Executive Team Coach. It is most typically seen in environments where there are a lot of changes happening. Most commonly this appears when there is a large change initiative. People (leaders) get moving so fast, and expecting the same from their teams, that they are not clearly or frequently communicating.

One Director of a large government run agency continually ran into opposition and resistance from staff – people were downright obstinate and unwilling to get along or move toward the needed change. Post taking the cross departmental temperature, we discovered that staff were feeling coerced and in the dark about what was expected.

We worked together with the director and small group of staff on opening the lines of conversation, from the director’s office. After a few short weeks of concentrated communication strategy involving emails, state of the union blog posts and audio recorded messages to all staff, we saw a shift in attitude.

More over, we saw a 43% increase in performance on average across the state and exponential willingness to take action toward the change initiative that was coming from the director’s office.

It was key for this director to learn that taking time to talk – good, bad or ugly, was more important than trying to push people to do what he wanted or to protect them from the truth. The truth may be hard to tell sometimes and our employees would rather hear it, than fallacies.
Our employees want the acknowledgment that they can handle the hard stuff (good, bad and ugly) and by being open with communication, we tell them we trust them.

A good manager is one who knows their place on the team is equal to the sum of the whole, holds their team as capable, powerful, resourceful and creative while communicating openly and acknowledging the small stuff along the way. A good manager builds a sense of trust and collaboration as they also acknowledge their own fault line (because, we all have one.)

Coaching Questions:
How do you react to having to share the good news?
What about the bad news?
What methods of open communication do you currently employ?
When have you taken the communication ‘temperature’ of your staff?
What is the action step you are prepared to take to open up communication?