5 Ways to NOT Get 'UnFriended' Fast in Social Media!

We have all seen the posts, the ones that cause us to pause and scratch our head. Those posts online from people that clearly didn't edit their content before hitting the Share/Send button. You know the ones. Those that leave you in a state of shock and awe, or just plain flabbergasted. Or leave you asking, "why!?"

Today I had that experience with an online post from someone who is connected to one of my networks. Though this post wasn't as much a head scratcher as it was rude and down right angry, it was shocking just the same. Perhaps this person was having a bad day, or they woke up on the wrong side of the bed. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter because the impression they left not only on me, but those in our network, had catastrophic affects.

They left an indelible mark on our minds, not of the excellent services they may or may not provide, but that they are not friendly, rather disrespectful of others publicly and down simply...angry. All that from one comment on a post.

Something to always remember when posting online, in a network, on Facebook or Twitter, what you put out there for even a few to see, can go viral and take you down quickly or raise you to new heights.

To ensure that you always put the best post forward, and refrain from getting 'unfriended' abruptly, consider these tips for posting success.

1.) Never respond or post in haste. It is key to check your attitude at the proverbial door before you comment or post anything. If you are feeling edgy or angry as you type. delete. delete. delete.

2.) Put your best face forward. Always remember that when you post online in the various networks that you play in, your image as well as your words go forward for all to see. The reader may or may not remember your name, but they are highly likely to remember your face. And if the words associated with your face are negative, the impression lasts a life time.

3.) Consider the PAUSE button. If you engage in a reply or post that is rather harsh in nature, pause and step away from the screen. Those quick posts can have long lasting effects that can be insurmountable or cause you to lose those hard earned followers. Your words are an extension of you online, pick them wisely.

4.) Transparency is good and can be bad. We hear it all the time, 'be transparent' online. This is a good rule to follow however, it can also come back to bite you in the you know what. Being transparent online and showing your flaws can engage people positively or negatively. It is all in how you handle it that counts. If you post something that didn't translate well, then state that and correct the action. If you post something that contradicts what you 'say' you represent, and don't quickly correct it, that loses credibility. Speak the truth and make corrections as needed is key.

5.) Keep Friends and Business in different containers. When posting online, it is important to show all networks your friendly side, that you care to engage, to connect, and to collaborate. To show you are not just there for shameless promotion. However, when posting the events (with details and pictures) of your weekend escapade on the same profile that you post ways prospects can engage you for business services, can get dicey. It is important to keep friends and all the activities you enjoy with them in the 'friend zone' and keep business in the online board room. Mixing the two can work against you at the most inopportune times.

There are other ways to keep you free and clear from the 'UnFriend' zone and it may be good to explore them. The key is to use the various platforms wisely and consider this, if you have children (or a grandmother), would you be proud to have them read or see what you post?


Coaching Questions:

* What is your social media strategy to connect, collaborate and grow?

* How might having a business persona and personal in the same network work for or against me?

* What do I value about being transparent online and how can it work to promote my persona?

* When faced with a negative encounter online, how will I handle it that supports my values?

How do you show up?

Over the past week I have had several conversations around 'presence.' Whether it is executive presence, coaching presence, fear or bold presence, the question has been - is presence something that you show up with, can learn or have gifted to you? Well my experience tells me that, presence is something that we are all born with, life molds for us and choices further define.

I recently was invited to post my thought on executive presence to a blog on this very topic at New Paradigms LLC: Executive Presence- Fact or Fantasy?. I was honored by the request to share my insights that I have gained over the years working with executives and curious about the variety of answers. What I notice to be true about so many people, no matter their profession or title, presence is something that we show up with, it is something that while we may learn to enhance over time, we are born with a certain way of being. When we show up our presence impacts the field either positive or negative, neutral or assertive. It comes from within, it is not something that is staged.

Today while on a conference call with a group of fellow coaches, the topic of coach presence in a group or team environment came up as an opening inquiry. It was interesting to hear seasoned coaches discussing the idea of whether presence is be something that we just show up with as coach. The conversation went around how coach presence impacts the field within a group coaching session, it isn't forced, predetermine (the how part) we just naturally are it. With in that space there is possibility for us to have an impact, without working hard to do it. The same is true for you and me in any environment.

Think about this scenario, you show up in the grocery store line to pay for your dinner one night. You have two checkers to pick from, both lines are open. Checker #1 does not make eye contact, sends a short hello your way and gives off the impression that they would rather be anywhere else but with you at that moment. What is their presence? How is it impacting the field you are co-creating in line? How is it making you feel. Remember, they have only said hello. Checker #2 looks at you and also says Hello. They smile and display a quiet warmth about them, they acknowledge you with eye contact and invite you into their line inquiring how your day has gone. Now, did they show up in the field with a presence that had impact? Was it negative or positive? Would you rather go to checker #1 or #2? Each has a presence, each only started with hello.

The point that I am making, which you will also see when you check out that blog mentioned at New Paradigm, LLC., is that we do have a choice in how we use our presence - we will use it, there is no choice on that part. It is simply the question of, are we using it to leave the impression and affect the energy in the field in the way we want to or not? The choice my friend...is up to you.

So tell me, what do you think about personal presence? If the mirror were reflecting back at you, how do you see your self showing up?

Tammy Redmon
Executive Coach and Business Growth Strategist
Redmon & Associates - Empowering Today's Business Leaders